How to Stop Caring What People Think | 🎧 Intermediate

 

EPISODE 10 HOW TO STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK

 Alisa:  Hey hey! Welcome back to Perk Up Your Life Podcast, the podcast where we kick back, talk about real stuff, and maybe learn a thing or two along the way. I’m Alisa—
Logan: —and I’m Logan. And today’s topic is one that hits so many of us right in the feels: how to stop caring what people think.
Alisa:  Oh man, this one’s personal. I feel like we spend so much of our lives worrying about other people’s opinions—what we wear, what we post, even what we say.
Logan: Yup. And half the time, those people aren’t even paying that much attention! But still, it gets in our heads, right?
Alisa:  Totally. So today, we’re diving into why we care so much, what it’s doing to us, and more importantly—how to let that go and live a little more freely.
Logan: Because at the end of the day, you can't control what other people think—but you can control how much you let it affect you.
Alisa:  Exactly. So, grab your coffee, get comfy, and let’s get into it. 
 
Logan: So, Alisa, be honest—have you ever not done something just because you were worried about how people would react?
Alisa:  Ohhh, 100%. Back in high school, I remember I really wanted to join the debate team. But I didn’t, because I thought people would think I was too “try-hard” or that I’d sound stupid.
Logan: Wow, same here. I once skipped out on a talent show. I had this whole acoustic guitar thing ready, but last minute I bailed ‘cause I was afraid people would laugh or say I was “trying to be cool.”
Alisa:  It’s wild how much we hold ourselves back. And it’s not just high school stuff either. Even now, as adults, that fear still creeps in.
Logan: Right? Like posting something on Instagram and second-guessing it… or not speaking up in a meeting because you’re scared of sounding “dumb.”
Alisa:  Exactly. It’s like this invisible pressure to fit in, to be “normal,” to not ruffle any feathers.
Logan: And let’s be real—social media only makes it worse. Everyone’s curating these perfect lives and if you’re not doing the same, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind or being judged.
Alisa:  Yeah, we’re constantly comparing, constantly filtering. But the truth is, no one’s really paying that much attention. Everyone’s caught up in their own insecurities.
Logan: Facts. So today, we want to unpack that—why we care so much, what it’s costing us, and how to start giving less of a damn.
Alisa:  Couldn’t have said it better. Alright, let’s break it down.
 
Logan: Let’s kick it off with why we care so much in the first place. Like, where does this even come from?
Alisa:  Honestly, a lot of it is biological. We’re social creatures. Back in the day, being part of a group was literally about survival. If you didn’t fit in, you were out—and that could mean death.
Logan: Yeah, so even now, our brains are still wired that way. We crave belonging. We’re scared of being left out or seen as “different.”
Alisa:  Right. And that fear of rejection is deep. Like, even when the stakes are low—like posting something online or speaking up in a meeting—it can feel like life or death in your head.
Logan: Exactly. And then you throw social media into the mix, and now we’re not just thinking about the opinions of people we know—we’re worried about total strangers too.
Alisa:  Yeah, we’re living in this constant state of performing, curating, editing ourselves. And honestly, it’s exhausting.
Logan: And kinda fake. But it makes sense that we all care—it's human. The problem is when it starts to run our lives. 
 
Alisa:  Okay, so let’s talk about what happens when we let other people’s opinions control us.
Logan: Number one for me? I held back on so many things I wanted to do. Like that time I didn’t apply for a scholarship because I thought I “wasn’t smart enough” and didn’t want people to see me fail.
Alisa:  Oof, I’ve been there. I once said no to a job interview because it felt “too ambitious,” and I was scared people would think I was getting ahead of myself.
Logan: That’s the worst part—we end up shrinking ourselves. Playing small. Letting fear write our story.
Alisa:  And the second thing? Burnout from people-pleasing. When you’re constantly trying to make everyone happy, it drains the life out of you.
Logan: Yes! You say “yes” when you mean “no,” you bend over backward to avoid judgment… and before you know it, you’re exhausted and resentful.
Alisa:  Not to mention, you start to lose your sense of self. Like, who are you when you’re always shape-shifting for other people?
Logan: Right? You end up living someone else’s version of your life. And deep down, that creates so much unhappiness. 
 
Alisa:  Alright, so let’s get into the good stuff—how do we actually stop caring so much?
Logan: First off, accept that not everyone’s gonna like you—and that’s totally okay. You could be the juiciest peach in the world and someone out there still hates peaches.
Alisa:  That’s my favorite saying! Seriously though, once you stop chasing universal approval, you start gaining real freedom.
Logan: Second, focus on your values. Like, what matters to you? Not your parents, not your followers—you.
Alisa:  Yes! When your actions align with your values, it’s easier to block out the noise. You’re not trying to impress anymore—you’re just being authentic.
Logan: Third tip? Start small. Build confidence through little wins. Speak up in a group. Share your opinion. Do that thing that scares you just a little bit.
Alisa:  Yeah, it’s like a muscle—you build it by using it. And over time, it gets easier to be unapologetically yourself.
Logan: Another big one: surround yourself with supportive people. If you’re always around folks who judge or mock you, it’s gonna be tough to grow.
Alisa:  Find your people—the ones who get you, encourage you, and don’t expect you to be perfect.
Logan: And last but not least, learn not to react to every bit of judgment—real or imagined. Most of the time, people aren’t even thinking about you as much as you think they are.
Alisa:  So true. We’re all caught up in our own insecurities. Half the time, that “judgment” is just in our heads.
Logan: Exactly. So instead of spiraling, just let it roll off your back. Focus on what really matters.
Alisa:  Your peace. Your joy. Your growth. 
 
Alisa: Okay, story time. I have to tell you about this one time I really decided to stop caring—and it was both terrifying and hilarious.
Logan: Ooh, I’m listening.
Alisa: So, I’d always wanted to try stand-up comedy, right? Like just once. But I kept putting it off because I was scared people would think I was cringe or worse—not funny.
Logan: That’s a real fear! Nothing worse than dead silence after a punchline.
Alisa: Exactly! But one night, I just said screw it. I signed up for this tiny open mic night at a coffee shop. My hands were shaking, my voice cracked—I probably bombed half the jokes.
Logan: How’d it go?
Alisa: Honestly? Not great. But it was freeing. I walked offstage and thought, “Okay, I didn’t die. And no one threw anything.” And one guy even came up after and said, “You were brave.” That meant more than applause.
Logan: See? That’s the magic. You did it for you. And even if it didn’t go perfectly, you grew from it.
Alisa: Totally. What about you? Got any “I stopped giving a damn” moments?
Logan: Oh yeah. So during college, I always wore super plain clothes—jeans, grey hoodies. Nothing wrong with that, but the truth was, I loved bold prints. Like, full-on floral shirts.
Alisa: No way! I cannot picture you in florals.
Logan: Well, one day I finally said, “Why am I hiding?” I showed up to class in this ridiculous bright red Hawaiian shirt. And guess what?
Alisa: People stared?
Logan: Oh yeah, definitely. But a few people actually complimented it. And more importantly, I felt like… me. Loud and proud.
Alisa: Yesss. I love that. It’s like once you break through that fear once or twice, it gets easier.
Logan: For real. And the funny thing is, the people who judge? They forget about it five minutes later. Meanwhile, we carry that fear for years.
Alisa: Right? No one’s thinking about your shirt or your joke three days later. But you remember the freedom.
Logan: Exactly. So if anyone out there’s listening and holding back—wear the weird shirt. Tell the joke. Be cringe. It’s better than being fake.
Alisa: Be cringe. Be free. That’s the vibe. 
 
Logan: Alright, let’s bring it home. If there’s one thing to take away from today’s episode—it’s this: Caring less about what people think doesn’t mean you don’t care at all. It just means you’re finally putting yourself first.
Alisa:  Exactly. You can still care about people. Still show up with kindness.
But when fear of judgment stops calling the shots? That’s when you really start to live.
Logan: And when you show up as your true self, the right people—your people—will find you. You don’t have to shape-shift to be loved.
Alisa:  I love that. And let’s be real—caring less isn’t some overnight switch. It’s a muscle. You build it every time you show up boldly, even if it feels awkward.
Logan: So the next time you catch yourself shrinking to fit in, ask: “Am I doing this for me… or for them?”
Alisa:  And if the answer is just to avoid judgment? Maybe hit send. Wear the outfit. Say the thing. Be you.
Logan: The world doesn’t need more polished copies. It needs your real, messy, magic self.
Alisa:  Alright, that’s a wrap for today. If this chat resonated with you, hit follow, leave a review, or shoot us a message—we seriously love hearing from you.
Logan: And hey—wear the floral shirt. Tell the corny joke. Take up space. We’re cheering you on.
Alisa:  Always. But before we go—we want to hear your story.
Logan: Yeah! What’s something you stopped doing because you were worried what people might think? Or better yet, what’s one small risk you’re ready to take this week?
Alisa:  Slide into our DMs or drop a comment. You never know—your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Logan: And if you’re into honest convos like this one, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. More chill talks and real growth, every week.
Alisa:  Thanks for hanging out with us. Stay kind, stay bold—and most of all…
Both: Don’t shrink. Be you.
Logan: Catch you next time on Perk Up Your Life Podcast.
Alisa:  Bye for now!

USEFUL PHRASES & IDIOMS

 

Phrase/Idiom	Meaning	Example Sentence
Back in the day	In the past	"Back in the day, being part of a group was literally about survival."
Wired that way	Naturally inclined or programmed to act a certain way	"Our brains are still wired that way."
Throw social media into the mix	Add something that intensifies a situation	"Then you throw social media into the mix…"
Run our lives	Dominate or control your decisions	"The problem is when it starts to run our lives."
Held back	Didn’t pursue something due to fear or hesitation	"I held back on so many things I wanted to do."
Getting ahead of myself	Acting overly confident or planning too far ahead	"I was scared people would think I was getting ahead of myself."
Playing small	Not living to your full potential	"We end up shrinking ourselves. Playing small."
Bend over backward	Go out of your way to help or please others	"You bend over backward to avoid judgment."
Shape-shifting for other people	Changing yourself to fit others’ expectations	"Who are you when you’re always shape-shifting for other people?"
You could be the juiciest peach...	Not everyone will like you, no matter how great you are	"You could be the juiciest peach in the world and someone still hates peaches."
Block out the noise	Ignore distractions or others’ opinions	"It’s easier to block out the noise."
Start small	Begin with manageable steps	"Start small. Build confidence through little wins."
It’s like a muscle	You improve it with practice	"It’s like a muscle—you build it by using it."
Surround yourself with supportive people	Be with those who uplift you	"Surround yourself with supportive people."
Let it roll off your back	Ignore criticism or judgment	"Just let it roll off your back."